芳香之旅－－Ｒevery alone will do, if bees are few.

今天感觉后背和左腰部分的筋很疼，可能是当枪手当的太猛了，以至于可以一坐写一个下午。 本来打算Easter Day 去Olympic Park 附近凑个热闹看看EASTER SHOW， 没想到单子一个接一个的来，搞得最后把同学也拉入了伙。

自从上个礼拜去了那家公司，就开始贪恋放假，总觉得EASTER DAY 时间太短，还有好多事情都没做，也没怎么好好的娱乐娱乐。今天是最后一天假，就觉得时间怎么过的这么快。呵呵。屋里的人都去了图书馆，好像只剩下我和JENNY, 真想去买几件过冬的衣服，悉尼的天真的逐渐冷了。

 

早上发神经，一起来觉得背酸疼后，坐着都不愿意，导致现在躺着写东西。突然间翻看新闻，一个链接进入了朱雨辰和王珞丹的博客，就这么一看看了一个小时，发现逐渐喜欢上了这俩人。我是不是也变年轻了。曾经上学期间从来没觉得，这青春年华真的就这么流逝，当看到心里测试要求我选年龄段时，发现自己已经进入25-30的盒子里，突然间觉得十分可恶。怎么自己就这样进入了奔三的行列？！

 

昨天下午又接到面试那天中午在公园吃饭认识的一个鬼-GARY，这男人刚和女朋友分手，十分健谈，和她聊的1个小时里，他天南地北的嘴里唔哩哇啦话就不停，最后非要要我电话，我心想，有必要吗，难道又来一个要了电话最后我不会再联系的鬼？我告诉他我有BF，而且不想发展什么RELATIONSHIP, 人家非说就当朋友，我也不好拒绝，那就给了吧。心想反正以后也不会和他联系，本人已经有主，况且他的形象真不怎么样。接下来的几天我莫名其妙的就开始接到他的电话，电话中他又罗里叭嗦的胡扯，不知怎么说到我学双学位有国际关系的课，他又突然间很想显示自己的博学，给我说开OBAMA怎么反省美国当初造原子弹，承认是美国第一个犯的错。最恶心的还在后面，之后就开始问我信不信RELIGION，然后说他信一点基督，相信DESTINY， 硬说我们的相识是DESTINY，问我是怎么看的？说实话，当时心理就有一种厌恶之情油然而生。然后又给我举例子，絮絮叨叨举BOOSTER （澳洲牌子的‘奶茶’）的例子，说什么MANIPULATION, 我说你的POINT 是什么，他说就是想说世间是有人在操控着我们的，我们的相识就是安排。

 

我三两句怎么把它打发了我忘了，总之挂掉电话后，他给我发了一封长达七八百字的信，信的内容大概就是解释他对我其实没有别的意思，赞赏我毫不留情面的直言拒绝，他只想找个人帮他渡过失恋的难关。

 

写到这，想到那封信，我就又有种恶心的感觉。最后一句话说，他给我打电话问我那么多问题就是想知道我的人生观和对待事物的看法，说白了就是看我信不信命运，再决定我们适不适和做朋友或什么--（what's that ?!）

 

天啊，难道是因为他有印度人的血统（他自称家族有南美，印度，欧洲血统）而这样恬不知耻的自负？ WHATEVER！

 

现在想想，相比于之前人的那个不健谈的鬼，我到宁愿与那种正常点的人交朋友。说句不好听的话，这种刚认识就想控制别人的人，不奇怪怎么会失恋了。

 

我说的话是有些BITCH，但是不吐不快。

 

看过的人就当笑话，不要骂我啊。

 

想说，感谢所有爱我的人，我的父母和男友，是你们在我的身后支持着我一直走下来的。

当今天拿到成绩的一刻，顿时很释然。想想这几个月的自己，真是快把自己折磨死了。呵呵。我想，如果没有你们，在我痛苦和迷惘是给我安慰和无限的帮助，我也许真的撑不下来的。

人的路是一步一步走过来的，一个人的成功也是由无数小水珠汇集起来最后流入大海。在今天这个小小的兴奋的消息，只是其中的一小步。人说水瓶座的人总是很急躁，有点急功近利的意思，我很赞同。但是在这边的日子，我走过一些弯路，也了解到心急不仅对问题的解决无事于补，而且是雪上加霜。等待和忍耐的日子的确将我的心菱角磨平了好多。ANYWAY，今天幸福的一个点，我满足，还有无数的幸福的点等待我去开拓。

拥有一颗感激的心，感谢亲人，感谢同学和朋友的帮助，你们都是我人生的宝贵财富。也希望所有的在澳大利亚拼搏的同学和朋友得到自己想要的。

今天中午在回家经过Wynyard火车站的一家报刊亭时,突然在Australian Chinese Daily的头版头条中发现一张照片. 乍一看, 似乎是认识的人. 照片是他和他老婆, 俩人手中一人抱一个孩子. 停下来仔细一看照片下的注释, 死者XXX生前与其妻和女儿照片. 对啊，那人就叫这名字，再一看文章标题: 纽省枪支大赦期昨开始.Oh, my god. 我大叫一声. 难道真是他. 上个月还一起出去唱K, 回来还顺路送我到家并留下电话QQ. 我赶紧在包里翻手机打电话给HB，确认我看到的消息是真的。响了2声后没人接，买过报纸后过了5分钟HB给我打过来。告诉我XXX真的死了。在North Sydney被杀，今年才28岁，他的追悼会已毕。

哦，是这样的。我心想，原来人的生命这么脆弱。

记得一月初，他的QQ亮起，看到的签名是2009新的一年，我来了。。。，谁料会在年初就这样离开人世。

文章的内容与枪支登记有关，我推向他是被人用枪所杀。朋友却告诉我不是，具体细节正在调查中。

坐在火车上，我突然间有很多感悟。

HB说，是啊，他的同事都说，这么辛苦的人生，其实最宝贵的是生命。尤其是当身边有人离世，才突然间领悟到人生活着就要享受人生，珍惜生命。

其实，我真正想说的是，人的一生真的是充满变数，我虽然不信教，但是多少小小迷信佛教中KARMA 轮回的概念。相信好人一生平安，相信好心会有好报。

希望所有的亲戚朋友一生平安。

今天心情很不好，应该说是晚上在家这段时间觉得很烦。很多时候我们不知道该如何做决定，到底该听谁的意见。如果谁的想法都不认同，自己一意孤行做的决定是否会让自己后悔。

自己到底要什么，我问自己无数次，想过无数次。

如果说人生总是有失有得，那么失去的东西是不是值得失去，得到的又是否是自己最想得到的。

留着明天想吧，有时候觉得自己是自己宇宙的太阳，有时自己又像一颗微尘，唯一的办法就是什么都不想，我想也就是这种环境提供了思考的空间，安静的让人窒息。

今天就台湾问题，我们在美国外交政策这节课上讨论的及其激烈。同学们的学习热情还是很高涨的，在还有两周就毕业的情况下，这种情形不多见。原因是很多人一方面在赶论文，另一方面就是在忙自己的私事之类的。ANYWAY，很开心，终于出了口恶气。让我们在美国人面前好好的表达自己不满的情绪。不过美国帅哥还是很NICE很PROFESSIONAL的，毕竟自己国家干的事情没什么可狡辩的。

下课后我和几个朋友在餐厅一起坐着聊天，我们谈到了在澳大利亚生活满意程度，是否留在这里，以及以后工作的情况，感慨颇深。

期间一个鬼佬莫名其妙的从其他桌子跑过来，让我们帮他的一个朋友说HAPPY BIRTHDAY，VIDEO 下来给他朋友庆祝生日，CRAZY, BUT CUTE.

继续我么谈论的话题，同学问我如果满意度是10的话，我打几分。一个打5分，一个打6分，一个打8.5分。我打2分。想都没想。Philip听后直接就说，你就是太不满足。我说你呢？他说人都是不满足，所以很难开心。不过他比我想得通，属于今朝有酒今朝醉型的人，打了工，赚了钱就出去玩花了，和女朋友以及其他的同学，玩的不亦乐乎。 还不停的劝我去玩。是啊，玩谁不会啊，问题是我暂时没他想的明白，我认为似乎还有更重要的事情。

说到这，让我想到了另一个已经移民过来的女同学，Jackie, 她就告诉我说她要回国，毕业后就回，她说开心是最重要的。是的，人的一生学习，工作赚钱为了什么？我问我自己。活得不开心一切就都是贬值的。

问题是有时候我们没办法完全随心所欲干自己想干或喜欢干的事，法国有句名言叫做什么se la vie.（TOTALLY WRONG SPELLING, FRENCH IGNORANT）, 这就是生活！

还有同学说，人生的快乐只是暂时的，比如我们现在大家在聊天，这2个小时的时间就很快乐，然后回家又要面对ESSAY。是啊，本来就是，人生有很多时候是不开心，我说只要我们在回首一段时间的时候，比如一个礼拜，或一个月，甚至一年的时间时，我们开心时间的总和大于不开心时间就OK了。关键是抓住开心的关键，什么是能让你最开心的人或事，朝着这个方向努力就行了。当然，过程是艰辛的。谁让天上没有馅饼可掉呢。

同学回国的都在努力的找工作，奔波于人才市场或网上申请递简历，笔试，面试等等，有个朋友直接留言为：“死在普华永道的笔试上”。I’M PRETTEY SURE SHE IS GONNA GO THROUGH IT. CHEER UP. BABE.

对了，同屋的女生要回国和男朋友会面，机票也定了，一月份走。我想我就继续坚守这个阵地，用国际关系中所谓的SOFT POWER，吸引“国内的人”过来 （YOU KNOW）。

GOD，so much to think and decide. But anyway, finish the first thing!!

出国的想回国，在国内的又拼命往国外跑，人这一生就是不断的寻找刺激和激情。

 两个朋友同时告诉我说，她想出国。而我，却十分想念国内的一切。

很多人问我什么时候回来， 我无法回答，因为我还真不知道什么时候回来，虽然内心十分渴望。

马上就毕业了，这段日子好好珍惜。

 

When H made that offer to me, I even hesitated. OMG, how could I be hesitant? I was sitting in his car, reluctant to get out of the car. Was I just insane? A 30 something year old married guy with a child was “dating” me and I even agreed and what’s more, I felt happy. Gosh. Life is just so amazing and distorting as well. I remember my friend once said that we were all gonna become abnormal and I didn’t interrupt her and seriously, I was silently thinking whether her word was gonna be a real reflection of our life.

 

Was it just ours or every single girl’s thought?

 

Obviously, a couple of times ganging out shouldn’t be considered as “dates”, I am a rational big girl and I know how to behave in a suitable manner and I know how to amuse us without hurting anyone. Do I really know or is it just my imagination or Narcissism?

 

Anyway, I didn’t agree with him on any of his offer and I know it is the superego of me made that decision. And I hate it, I hate it!! I hate I was always so rational. But I know it is right.

 

I guess I let my happiness go the time I made that right decision. Damn it. Why it is the truth that I am actually feeling happy to be with him, although he is, in fact, not my type guy, and it is incredible to have just a little thought of it.

 

God, what am I thinking about?

 

May be too much “pressure” or so little recreation? Just stop thinking!

很想像一个正常的年轻人过一个疯狂的周五夜生活。我一直在想，这不是一个奢侈的想法。朋友在这边找到心仪的工作让我觉得自己离这个目标正在慢慢靠近。

有时突然间很想回国，和国内的朋友一起去酒吧或PUB，或者只是和他们坐在肯德基或商场咖啡厅喝一杯饮料，只是一起呆着，快乐的悠闲的坐着，抛开一切现实，随意的聊着彼此这2年的生活，或回顾高中时的往事。最好每个人带着自己的老公或男朋友，每个人都能聊到一起，气氛很和谐及融洽，脸上都带着笑容。 身边有些朋友和同学已经结婚，他们和我的年龄差不多，但是我却不敢想象自己什么时候会做出这种决定。我很珍惜自己的年轻，毕竟还年轻，我也很庆幸自己有这种意识。年轻时什么？就是自己在不断思考学习经历挑战，无论是走在路上嘴角的微笑还是与顾客发生争吵还要面带微笑赔礼道歉，疯狂过，开心过，失望过也痛苦过，whatever, 我正在经历着。我想，人生的激情就在于未知。人的想法在不断的变化，或许当自己不再年轻时，当现实不断扩大到了选择的成熟期时，就是人生另一个台阶，那时的想也许就又变了吧。

 

从H 落寞的表情中，我看到结婚好几年后没有激情的生活是多么可怕的事。他说，我和她现在只有亲情，没有爱情。是不是每个人都是这样？我真的怕了。突然间明白了，sex and city里Bradshawn为什么惧怕和Eden结婚，那么优秀的男人，竟然为了不结婚而分手。现在我明白了，宁愿选择分手也不要没有激情的生活。我想应该是这样吧。

 

 

Living in Australia for like one year and a half, I kind have the feeling that Australian people are not kind to the migrants, especially people from developing countries. That’s reasonable, to some extent, that if you meet a man who comes from the remote area, holds totally different customs and values and barely speaks the same language as you do, you may probably think he is an alien and even despise him. Talking about the people here really reminds me some unhappy memories.

 

If you talk about people, let’s talk about the Australian men I met.

 

First I want to say that all  humankind is the same. Australian men are, of course, more polite and helpful then people from the third countries, but they are unreliable, needy, desperate and sensitive. I don’t know whether I am going extreme to say so, or may be you can say this is just one-sided opinion, but as a tiny woman in a foreign country, I feel totally disappointed. Then I’d like to talk about the five guys that I have been acquainted with.

 

An Iraqi guy. He talked to me on his own when I was hesitating about picking a sausage at Woolworth supermarket near school. With his heavy accent, I could hardly understand him. At first I though he was just a warm-hearted guy wanting to help me pick the food, but then he was kind interested in me and asked me a lot about my study and life and finally he showed me his ID card, telling me he is an engineer and work at a company, the name of which, by the way, of course I forget and then he followed me out of the supermarket. He’s like over thirty years old, wears an old white or yellow sweater, a little bit rotund and the most ridiculous part, he is almost bald. Anyway, he’s got a shape of a middle-aged man. I went out first and he kind caught up with me and urgently showed me his car and insisted on buying me a drink. Thing became pretty clear now. I was not stupid, and probably he was so cocky that he thought girls like me could be easily hooked up. I told him I had to go home for study and left away. I forgot to say I gave him my phone number that day but I never answered his call. About five or a week later, he never called again.

 

The second is a Chinese guy, also in his thirties. It’s pretty weird that it happened at the same place—Woolworth supermarket. He talked to me while I was around the frozen cooked food area and asked some general questions that every two strangers may be curious about. But what is different from the last guy is that I got into his car and he drove me home. You should know that how hard it is for us overseas students striking a balance between study and living. What’s worse for me is that my home is a little bit far from school and after a whole day’s study I could barely hold a lot of stuff and walk home. We had supper together, of course, after his incessant invitation I couldn’t reject. However, he is really not my type. I answered his calls for about like two times and then never contact again.

 

I will write about the rest tomorrow since the story seems pretty long. It is funny that sometimes these things pop up in my mind and i just wanna to share them with you.

 

Australia is such a lucky country. No war, either civil or international, has been fought. Plus, being the sixth largest country in the world, it is endowed with plenty of natural resources, which makes the country being branded a developed country. But, what it is so special for it to become a developed country, I wonder, as most of my classmates do.

 

Talking privately with my friends about the extraordinariness of this country, we came to a conclusion: dairy products and minerals. As to mineral, I recollect a story told by my celebrated and respectful teacher Keith Suter, a British, who deliberately or indeliberately, I am not sure, told us that he used to have lunch or chat with certain famous governmental or military senior officials of Britain.

 

The story is about a guy who was hiking in the mountain and luckily found the whole mountain was constituted of ore. Only in 2007, China imported about 383 million tons of iron ore. India, being the second largest importer of iron and coal, is also a contributing factor of Australia’s prosperity of mineral industry. Thanks to China and India, many countries gain massive benefits from soaring demands of many goods by a large number of population of these two countries. Of course, China too, by doing so, gets what she wants. The grandeur strength, both in economic, political and military, can be revealed from the jealousy and fear of US and some EU countries. Things always have two sides, I would rather to see them from another angle. China, which is like US, has already become a country being loved as well as disliked. I would rather say that being disliked is a good sign, for it is the pain that spurs motivation, it is the pain that pushes it to advance. I like pain, China, too, likes pain.

 

Discarding laziness and embracing positive values. I need someone to blow my mind, and that person turns out to be myself. What’s the key to that? I don’t know. what do you say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

一个高中同学即将大学毕业,他的搏客写得,让我突然间想哭. 一个人的遥远,一个人的寂寞. 然而事实是,寂寞的心,没有距离,与, 曾经的生活,炎热的大学即将毕业的生活, 没有,距离.

我和室友讨论,来这上大学的孩子们,错失的是人生最宝贵的时光. 那些孩子们啊,还在恋爱,还在边打工边赚零食钱.

与那时的我们,不同,又,相同,都同样的快乐.

我想说什么?

房子要卖掉了,房东要换新的.

昨天来了房屋测量员,我和他聊,他告诉我在澳大利亚,真的会有白蚁吃掉房屋的现象.

我想到了动物世界.

我问他对中国有多少了解,他说The Great Wall and what Temple?

他说他去泰国,不知道去中国,不了解中国的旅游.

他是个有意思的男人.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2月19号抵达Sydney.

2月21号,去学校申请讲座,去Macquarie Shopping Centre de commonwealth bank 开户后已经是中午.在饥肠辘辘的情况下与cythia&上海男生去city.

到city准备狂拍照,相机突然没电了,还好cythia有相机.

以后会有更多city照片.:)

   有段时间没来了。日子进入2月，时间的流就越发的汹涌了。回想两三个月前还痛不欲生的无理取闹的抱怨那匆匆的日子流的越发的缓慢，现在的我倒越来越觉得舍不得离开了。